try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
