Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
