Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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