I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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