Sry I called you an 8
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
