The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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