i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
