i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
being pregnant is like rehab
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
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I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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