now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
