is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
