went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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