He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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