But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
where does the pee come out of this thing
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
