I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
