This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
