We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
honey bunches of taint.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
