I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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