i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
