Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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