Nicole vs. Life
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
