I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
