my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
