They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
