I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
