I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize