All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
