I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
