the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
