Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You can't special order awesome
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
