We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
