So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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