She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
