The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
