i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
