I think i peed on brittanys purse
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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