So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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