whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He kissed a someone with a penis
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
