i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
