You can't motorboat a personality
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
