I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize