She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
