i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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