So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
