my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he puts the penis in happiness.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
