She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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