At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
