He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.