OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
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I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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