It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.