Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.