So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball