He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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