hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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