doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
