Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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