She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
