He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
