if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize