Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs