I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots