"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him