know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
