After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
