idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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