So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize