He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
