He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Randomize
